In a recent post when I threatened to post my 2006 list of worst Halloween costumes again because of the whole California Raisins thing, the lovely Jali requested I go ahead an do so. So I am. You know I love ya, Jali!
I must stress though, that in reading back through the costume entries in my 2006 entries, the best things about them were the hilarious comments you all left. So you really should go back into the archives and enjoy the commenty goodness. Just proves you all...complete me. Bwahaha! You make this blog better, anyhow.
But here's the list again, still relatively timely. Bad is bad. For your convenience, I'm compiling all the separate entries into one post for you. But again...the archives are better. So take a trip down memory lane and don't buy one of these this year. If you do, send a picture. I must post it.
Drumroll...The 13 Worst Halloween Costumes (Reprise)
In honor of the year's high holy day (Halloween, duh) and since I am the master of all things horror, I will be posting numerous countdowns to get us in the mood. The countdowns will um...count down...from #13 to #1. Check back daily! Here we go.
13 Worst Halloween Costumes:
I get many requests for great Halloween costume suggestions. Well, that’s no fun. Instead, over the next few days, I’ll be bringing you the 13 Worst Halloween Costumes of the year. You too, can suck this Halloween!
#13: Poop.
13 Worst Halloween Costumes:
I get many requests for great Halloween costume suggestions. Well, that’s no fun. Instead, over the next few days, I’ll be bringing you the 13 Worst Halloween Costumes of the year. You too, can suck this Halloween!
#13: Poop.
I’m poop, huh huh.Eh, it’s been done. It’s stupid enough to be immature, yet not enough to transcend to amusing.
However, if you must be poop, at least stick some horns on and call yourself ‘bullshit.’ That’s kind of clever. Sort of.
However, if you must be poop, at least stick some horns on and call yourself ‘bullshit.’ That’s kind of clever. Sort of.
#12: Sexy Nurse
Pain and misery are just so damn hot.What is wrong with people? When was the last time you were ever in a situation that required a nurse and felt sexy? Never, that’s when. Nurses aren’t sexy; they’re scary. What’s next, the sexy oral surgeon costume?
Although, these boots are kinda punk rock.#11: Celine Dion.
There’s just no way to redeem this costume. Even if you’re Celine Dion. Especially if you’re Celine Dion.
Is she going to eat that baby?#10: A Penis.
Stupid costume. Especially when it’s badly made. Yikes.
#9: A Vagina. See ‘Penis’ above.
Born again!
Although, put the two together, especially with some tap shoes, and you may have a winner. (Or is that a wiener? Yuk,yuk!)
So happy together!
Stupid costume. Especially when it’s badly made. Yikes.
I’m a penis. So’s my costume!
#9: A Vagina. See ‘Penis’ above.
Born again!Although, put the two together, especially with some tap shoes, and you may have a winner. (Or is that a wiener? Yuk,yuk!)
So happy together!#8: Muscle Mullet
The combination just isn’t believable. It’s a shame to waste a perfectly good mullet like that.
Chicks dig me!
The combination just isn’t believable. It’s a shame to waste a perfectly good mullet like that.
Chicks dig me!#7: A Black Guy, if you’re not a black guy.
Unless your name is C. Thomas Howell and you’re starring in a little gem called Soul Man, you have no business in this costume. It’s just not funny at all.
A black dude dressing up as a white guy, though...that’s money! Well, not really.
Go wash your face, honky.
Unless your name is C. Thomas Howell and you’re starring in a little gem called Soul Man, you have no business in this costume. It’s just not funny at all.
A black dude dressing up as a white guy, though...that’s money! Well, not really.
Go wash your face, honky.#6: Sheep Lover
Especially if you’re 40. This seems like a frat party prank and even then it’s pretty dumb. Shouldn’t that guy be going home to his wife and 5 kids?
Baaaaaaad idea!
(Good lord. I just found out that this is what my sister's boyfriend is wearing this year. )
#5: Cell Phone
This is so unbearably lame, I can’t even make fun of it. Please don’t do it.
Can you hear me now? I said I’m lame!
Especially if you’re 40. This seems like a frat party prank and even then it’s pretty dumb. Shouldn’t that guy be going home to his wife and 5 kids?
Baaaaaaad idea!(Good lord. I just found out that this is what my sister's boyfriend is wearing this year. )
#5: Cell Phone
This is so unbearably lame, I can’t even make fun of it. Please don’t do it.
Can you hear me now? I said I’m lame!#4: The California Raisins
Some of you may know from my Proud White Trash blog that I grew up in a rough neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where, on Halloween, it was nothing to bust someone’s face and steal their candy. Especially if their costume was stupid.
But nobody ever beat up a California Raisin, because they were just so...pitiful. Even the worst bullies, who fed on weakness, could only give the Raisins a painful sideways glance. And that was in the eighties, when the stupid things were actually (luckily temporarily) popular.
The lameness now is off the scale. But I guess you’d be safe from bullies, at least. (And if you ever dressed up like this, you can admit it. I'll only point and laugh for an hour.)
Rhys feels so sorry for us she won’t even put a sarcastic caption here!
Some of you may know from my Proud White Trash blog that I grew up in a rough neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where, on Halloween, it was nothing to bust someone’s face and steal their candy. Especially if their costume was stupid.
But nobody ever beat up a California Raisin, because they were just so...pitiful. Even the worst bullies, who fed on weakness, could only give the Raisins a painful sideways glance. And that was in the eighties, when the stupid things were actually (luckily temporarily) popular.
The lameness now is off the scale. But I guess you’d be safe from bullies, at least. (And if you ever dressed up like this, you can admit it. I'll only point and laugh for an hour.)
Rhys feels so sorry for us she won’t even put a sarcastic caption here!The Top 3! I'm so excited!
We’ve done it; we’ve counted down from the awful to the absolute grotesque. Here are the three worst Halloween costumes of all!
#3: A Pimp
Nothing is less pimp than dressing like a pimp, dork.
Who’s your daddy? I’m guessing somebody really stupid.
Yo yo yo, wanna be my ho?
Strangely though, it’s a great look for dogs. Nothing cuter than a pimp doggie!
Arf, arf, arf, wanna be my ho?
He’s going to eat that baby!
And finally...
#1: Baby Hitler
I don’t know what to say, except this is most likely not going to contribute to your child growing up a happy, well-adjusted person. Anyway, it’s probably much cheaper to make a tiny little KKK robe.
I want milk, ‘cuz I hate Juice!
So very wrong. Well, there you have it, the absolute worst Halloween costumes of 2006. Of course, you’ve still got time to slap one of these atrocities together and hit the town. If anyone gets all disgusted or offended and threatens to kick your ass, just tell ‘em Rhys sent ya.
We’ve done it; we’ve counted down from the awful to the absolute grotesque. Here are the three worst Halloween costumes of all!
#3: A Pimp
Nothing is less pimp than dressing like a pimp, dork.
Who’s your daddy? I’m guessing somebody really stupid.
Yo yo yo, wanna be my ho?Strangely though, it’s a great look for dogs. Nothing cuter than a pimp doggie!
Arf, arf, arf, wanna be my ho?#2: Adult Teletubby
You look like you should be on your way to a fetish party in this getup. Maybe you are. Hooray for freedom and all that, but keep it to yourself, bud.
You look like you should be on your way to a fetish party in this getup. Maybe you are. Hooray for freedom and all that, but keep it to yourself, bud.
He’s going to eat that baby!And finally...
#1: Baby Hitler
I don’t know what to say, except this is most likely not going to contribute to your child growing up a happy, well-adjusted person. Anyway, it’s probably much cheaper to make a tiny little KKK robe.
I want milk, ‘cuz I hate Juice!So very wrong. Well, there you have it, the absolute worst Halloween costumes of 2006. Of course, you’ve still got time to slap one of these atrocities together and hit the town. If anyone gets all disgusted or offended and threatens to kick your ass, just tell ‘em Rhys sent ya.
